Someone to Hold
by Aerliurn
Summary: Brandan, a teenager is up late at night when a mysterious knock on his door changes his life. All he knows at the beginning is that this girl just ran past him into his house. What he does down the road will determine what becomes of this simple action.
1. Chapter 1

I look at the clock for no reason as another dart hits the board. It hits with a cushioned thunk on the double twenty, and the clock says 1:25 AM. I should be in bed by now, even though it is Christmas Break, but I'm one of those people who really doesn't care what day it is. I'll go to bed at three in the morning on consecutive school nights. Waking up is a different story. What's been strange is my thoughts when I wake up and go to sleep. They're unlike me, and I don't like that. They're true thoughts no doubt, but they're depressing, it reminds me of the time where I was clinically depressed. The thoughts when I wake up are always the same: I'm a nerd, I play Magic: The Gathering, I roleplay, I am a gamer, I get good grades, and I rule at computers. I stop myself right there for a minute. I think, 'Yeah, after I say these things online people think I'm the stereotypical nerd.'

To be honest, I would think that too, if it weren't for the fact that the stereotypical nerd doesn't exist, at least I've never met a person like that. The dart slips and it lands on the black ring outside the scoring zone. "Damn," I breathe out. Then I look at what people see when they don't know me. I'm a six-two two hundred pound giant to most, I can run, I can jump, I'm smart, but I'm lazy. With my short brown hair and my hazel eyes, most throw me in with the jocks right away. Therein lies the problem, I don't belong with any group, and I like that. I'm an introvert, I don't talk to people, but that's the me that's been around for half my life.

Then there's the thoughts at night. I have a sizeable bed, and sometimes I can't get to sleep because I think. There's one thing I do more than anything else: think. Think think think all day long. The dart seems to glide out of my hand perfectly as it sticks into the double bullseye. A fist pump later and I go back to the world of my mind. I'll feel the emptiness on my bed and it'll get to me. I'll feel alone, unnoticed, and I'll wish I had someone to talk to. This sparked a conflict in my mind with one side saying this and the other saying, 'Well a girl isn't just going to fall from the sky!'

These thoughts only came after reading a visual novel by the name of Katawa Shoujo. Playing mostly out of blind curiousity, I found myself immersed in it. The stories of each person felt like the depths of the sea. Yeah, they were that deep, but as I played through each line, I caught myself asking the same question: Why can't I have that? I finished all the storylines except one: Hanako's. It wasn't because I didn't want to, it was because I kept asking myself that question. Sure, the stories were good, but it felt like I was stuck in a cage answering multiple choice questions. I didn't have my own voice.

As I sit thinking, I hear the familiar sound of my grandmother's doorbell rings throughout the house. "What the hell?" I suddenly blurt out. I cautiously walk up the stairs from my basement and towards the door, flipping lights on as I go. I'm the only one at the house for now because my grandparents left for the emergency room earlier, my grandfather having a kidney problem. I try and keep to the shadows as I reach out for the door handle. When I finally open the door, I almost drop dead. Standing before me is a girl with very long, and very dark purple hair, though this may just be because of my partial colorblindness, with eyes matching in color. She's wearing a very loose nightgown that goes past her knees. Her expression matches that of someone who could run at any second, like a deer in headlights. Her most notable characteristic is the scars on her face that seem to go down her neck. I instantly recognize her, though from where I do not know, my sleepiness is getting the better of me at the moment. I quickly catch myself from staring and I ask her something I would think about much longer if I was fully awake.

"Um...hello, what do you need?" I say nonchalantly. Silence reigns over our conversation as she gathers herself for an answer, at least I thought she was going to answer. She runs past me so fast that I barely have time to react, and my reflexes are good compared to most. I turn just in time to see her run upstairs and I hear her slam the door. "Whoa..." is really all I can say. I go over what I saw in my head analytically before proceeding. She was shivering badly, which is understandable given it is really cold at the moment. She shook even more when I was looking at her, especially when...I fail. I looked at the scars for more that I should have. They have a story no doubt, and she probably got mad fun of for them. "I'm so stupid," I find myself saying. What do I do? Apologizing would just antagonize her more, at least face to face. I decide to write a note to her, hoping that she would read it and understand.

_Dear Whoever you might be,_

_My name is Brandan, and I'm extremely sorry for staring at your scars. They probably have a story behind them that I couldn't imagine. If you want to talk, I'll be in the basement, it's your decision._

A bit blunt, but I can't find the words to explain myself further. I don't know this person, but I know their intentions are not malicious. I walk up the stairs as quietly as I can and I turn to hear her soft sniffling through the door to the spare bedroom. Now I really feel bad. I slip the note below the door, and I walk away. I walk down the stairs and down into the basement, then I walk into my room and I quietly close the door. As I fall asleep, the thoughts return and I get kind of depressed as I have for a few weeks.


	2. Chapter 2

Sleep. Endless sleep. I haven't dreamed about anything in years, and each time I go to sleep the hours are gone in the blink of an eye. Black surrounds me for less than a second, and when I wake up, it's not morning. I look at the clock and I see it's 3:34 AM, then I hear someone sobbing next to me, standing over me like a thief in the night. I look up and I see it's the girl, and she's holding my note in her hand. "I'm sorry," she repeats over and over again. I turn on the lamp by my bed, and I think I see the most broken person who ever lived. She looks like she could just collapse at any moment. She's shaking like she's in an earthquake, her eyes are red because she's been crying so much, and it all makes me feel like even more of an asshole.

My thoughts are caught short as she does collapse onto the edge of my bed with her head on her folded arms. I'm lost for words, and since I've never been in a situation remotely close to this I'm lost for actions as well. I do the only thing I can think of, and I gently place my hand on her head and say, "It's ok, there's nothing to be sorry for, you may be lost, you may feel like you're alone, but I'll make you a deal. I'll help you get back to where you were, and you don't have to do anything, ok?"

She peeks up from her arms and looks at me straight in the eyes. I notice she jumped a bit when I put my hand on her head, and that may have just made things worse. We keep eye contact for a few minutes before she breaks the silence. "Why would you help...someone like me? You...don't know...pain...like...like..." She bursts into tears again before she finishes her sentence. "It's true that I've never felt pain you might have gone through, but I definitely have scars." I'm really taking a leap of faith here, if she doesn't understand what I'm trying to do, I don't know if I can get her to trust me.

She peeks up again, and she looks at me with just a hint of curiousness and tact. "W-where are they...I don't see them...a-are they covered up by your clothes?"

"Yes...and no...they are covered up by my clothes. My scars are not on my skin...they're here..." I point to my head. "...and here." I point to my chest. I can tell she has to think about it for a minute or two then she looks down. "I guess you understand now...but, I'm not going to tell you the details because you'll probably feel worse...ok?" She nods and she stands up, yet she doesn't move. I can see her shaking again, and I know she's going to fall. It all happens in slow motion as her knees lock up and give out. Her head comes down not on the edge of my bed, but it lands on my chest. I realize she's still crying, and I feel I need to comfort her somehow. I don't even think about what I'm doing as I put my arms around her. Again, she jumps at my touch, but I don't realize until a few minutes later her arms are around me as well. I don't know what to think, but I'll go with it. I guess I should pull her onto the bed with me, she doesn't look too comfortable hanging off the bed like this.

I carefully roll her over me so that she's on my right, and that's how it stays. Before I fall asleep a myriad of thoughts enters my mind. Among them are questions that I feel need to be answered. I know that they'll be eventually sorted out. All that matters now is sleep, me holding her, and the trust we need to build between us.


	3. Chapter 3

When I wake up, I don't remember anything from the night before. That is, until I see the girl next to me, still lost in sleep. Here come the thoughts again, but I realize something's off about her. She's not shaking, she's not crying, and believe it or not, on her face was the most inconspicuous smile. It was more like a smirk, to be honest, yet there was nothing behind it. In my experience smirks usually mean someone's planning something mischevious. My thoughts are broken as she cuddles me closer to her, her head on my chest again as if listening to my heartbeat and breathing. When I rolled her over me last night, she was around a foot from me, because I didn't want her waking up and not being able to get up because of me having my arms around her. Again, this is different. At least when she's asleep, she doesn't want to get away, she wants to stay. This may be because she doesn't want to be alone, just like me.

When I finally snap back to reality, her eyes are open, and she's shaking slightly. I look into her eyes trying to be as non-threatening as possible. However, when I look into them, I get lost in them. I can't stop looking into them, and I hope it doesn't freak her out again. Now that I see them up close, they're not black like I thought they were. They're actually a very dark purple with a greyish tint to them, and the only though in my head was "Whoa...". I never knew that coloring could exist. "E-excuse me?...Brandan?..." the girl says.

"Yeah?..." She's still shaking, and I get a bad feeling about what might happen next. Again, I'm surprised as her face turns a bright red. "Thank y-you...for letting me stay here...and thank you for comforting me...and thanks for understanding..." My face goes red as well when I contemplate what happened last night, and what continued until this morning. I held her all through the night, and in my bed. Whoa. No, it wasn't getting to first base, or any base for that matter, that kind of thing was always in the back of my mind. To top that I'm more clueless than a five year old, seeing I couldn't know if a girl was trying to flirt with me unless one of the people who guide airplanes into their gates directed me to her.

"You're welcome...can I ask you something?...What's your name?..." She's caught a bit off guard with that question, given the situation. "It's Hanako...Hanako Ikezawa...and before you ask any more questions, I-I want to say...I don't remember how I got here..." Though I was going to ask that later, getting it out of the way helps. "I don't want to ask any questions...not right now at least...I'll ask the questions once you feel like you can fully trust me ok?..." She nods at my reply. "Alright...I think I'm going to get something to eat...you want anything?..." She shakes her head, but when I get up, she holds onto me. "D-don't leave me...I don't know anyone here...I don't want to be alone..." Her eyes are watering, so I choose her over food, seems like a good choice. I would know, I am clueless. I lay down next to her and she snuggles up against me like a giant teddy bear. I glance at the clock, and it says it's 6:31. Wow, I was about to get up at six, on **Christmas Break**.

After realizing my mistake I put my arms back around Hanako, and drift into the endless world of my dreams. I hope this isn't a dream, though the implications are shady at best, I want to help her get back to where she was. If there's no other place for her to go, she can stay with me. Like she said, she doesn't really know anyone else, and a girl like her wouldn't last a second out there. At least, I think she wouldn't, which is why I should get to know her. I don't know anything other than her name. What is a name? If you take the name off of someone and give them another, they're the same person. I can already tell she's a really shy person, and, not to be mean, she's broken, just like me. How or why is her secret, only given to those she completely trusts. For now, I hope I can be that person, nothing more, nothing less. If she wants to be more, well, I'm not sure if it's my desire at the moment. But I hope I can make the best choice if it does come around...

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><p>Hello! This is Aerliurn...I'm kinda the author...damn I'm bad at these things XD. Anyways I wanted to thank you all for reading this chapter, and if you liked this story please follow me on here, review the story, and if you want to see more favorite both me and the story for future updates and other stories. See you in the next chapter!<p> 


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